Also, I agree with Chris: Your comment was far from super-lame or poorly written
To date, I don’t think I’ve gotten a super-lame comment yet. This site doesn’t get many trivial comments…most of them have substance, like yours (I especially liked that bit about being a tribal species as it relates to NA). You shared your story and your points eloquently. Get used to it. It’s gonna want to talk a lot. Don’t let it keep you down.
It’s funny what you said about feeling a little out of place as a just a little pill popper in N/A. These drugs like Adderall and Vyvanse are so different from other typical drugs…it’s such a different kind of mentality that uses them. People use most narcotics to escape life. People use Adderall because they want to embrace life and they don’t feel like they can adequately do that on their own. Typical drug use represents self-destruction; Adderall drug use represents an insecurity. Some ways the same; some ways totally different.
Please come back and post some more details on you NA meetings! I think everybody here could benefit from hearing what it’s like in there for little pill poppers.
That’s just the just-quit-Adderall insecurity talking
To answer your first question: Yes, to some degree, I suppose so. My depression has always come and gone, it just seems that over the years, more and more of the time, I find myself in a depressed mood. Forgive me if any of this strikes you as rambling and/or unnecessary but I think the easiest way for me to answer your questions would be to give you a bit of a deeper insight and history of the depression since its beginning. Within the first few months of my depression developing, I started noticing a pattern of when it came on. Every three weeks, I’d go into a week (sometimes a few days longer) of feeling extremely depressed. Often, this three week pattern was accurate to the day (21 days after my last episode, as I started to call them). My mom even noticed it. Adding meds to the equation eventually altered that. One such medication even seemed to increase how often I cycled in and out. It was like every other week. I can’t say for sure that those meds were the sole cause of that change but I noticed the change within a couple weeks of beginning that medication.
Sometimes, there are things I can do to distract myself somewhat, but that’s usually in less intense levels of depression
As I mentioned in my first post, there were a few times where certain meds worked temporarily. In all three cases, they stopped working within the first six months. The most effective North Carolina payday title loan of them stopped working about six months after starting it. While there are things that can elevate the depressed mood, I haven’t really noticed any triggers that set it off. Likewise, I haven’t been able to find anything that really relieves it. In rare cases (has only happened a few times thankfully), I would get so despondent, I wouldn’t leave the house and rarely even my room for as long as a week. I’d just lie in bed, staring at the wall or sleep for extended periods of time. In those times, I couldn’t really bring myself to do anything else. Any attempts at productivity or activity of any sort really seemed to worsen it.
If you’d like clarification on any of this or have further questions about it, feel free to ask. I’m pretty open in regards to talking about my depression, in most cases.